"Rette Mich"

     my alarm rang twice and i finally hit snooze. i straightened my hair then looked in my drawers to try and put together an outfit for the first day of school...for me. i started a month later than everyone else because i enrolled late, and now i'm mad that i enrolled at all. i didnt want to go to school, or meet anybody, or deal with anybody. but i guess i'm going to have to now.
     i pulled out my chucks, my dark blue jeans and my old 30 Seconds To Mars shirt then pulled on my favorite socks. i took out a pack of notebook paper and a couple of pens and put them in my messenger bag along with my laptop, grabbed some grapes out of the fridge and stuck a granola bar in my pocket, grabbed my mp3 player and a 10 then hopped on out the door. 
     i found out if took 43 minutes to walk to the school from where i lived. unfortunately, school starts at 8, and its 7:37, so now i get to kill some dead time and just sit here. it would have been nice of them to email me my schedual with the room numbers, because i dont even know where my advisory is.... i can tell this is going to be a long day.
     here are so many people here. i looked around as the bell rung. people rushed from the cafeteria and library in compact mobs chattering like caged parrots. everyone was so different, but there was nobody like me. i feel out of place even in my own body, i dont know why i would expect not to feel the same in a school. stupid. i was so nervous. i dont know where anything is, and i dont know anyone here.
am i going to make any friends?
am i going to always be lost here?
am i going to have a locker partner?
or the bigger question...
does that boy go to school here?
i really hope he does...
i dont know what to do. i frowned to myself. i went to the office to see if i could get my schedule there. i walked through the glass doors and up to the counter. a middle-aged  blond lady looked up at me from down at her computer. "may i help you?"
     "uh...yah...i'm new here and i need my schedule, i- i've never been here before..."
     "okay. whats your name?"
     "Aedrian Camejo."
     She started typing and then the bell rang. i was late for advisory, if they have those that is. i hate being late so much, its crazy. i started twitching my fingers anxiously.
     "how do you spell the last name?"
     "oh, alright. i put C-A-N-E-H-O, i'm sorry."
     ...where did the "n" come from?
     "okay, im printing out your schedule. its got everything on it; your room numbers, teacher's names, times, etcetera."
     "okay, thanks."
     she took a piece of paper out of the slot on the printer and handed it to me. i waited for the bell to ring before i went to my next class.
the bell rang.

     "Room 200, 1st Bell, 8:10-9:10, Mrs.Detrick, World History." i read to myself. all of the people started coming out of the doors again. i looked down at my paper and then back up and got elbowed in the face. "umph" i grunted and squinted my eyes. i shook my head real fast and kept on walking.
     i looked down at the paper again. Room 200...where are you... i looked over at one of the doors and the sign said "Room 250." i guess i'm kind of close then. i kept walking and the numbers got bigger. okay...wrong way. i found a safe corner and turned around, then sped in the opposite direction until i was all the way down the hall and found room 200 in the corner next to a staircase. corner next to a staircase; i'll remember that for next time.
     i saw an open corner and took the available seat. almost all of the seats were taken and everyone stared at me when i was walking past them. i felt so uncomfortable...
     the bell rung.

     The teacher was taking attendance and mumbled everyone's name under her breath; until she got to mine and oh man did she butcher it. "who is Ramsey...Cammy..joe?"
     i wanted to just shy away into a corner. i raised my hand "umm...its...Aedrian Camejo...the 'j' is prounounced as an 'h'...Ramsey is my second last name..."
    "Oh," she said as she tipped down her glasses and looked down at the paper, "i guess they forgot to hyphenate it. welcome to Hartton-Beaux, Miss Camejo."
    "Thanks..." i sat quietly at my seat.
    "Okay, now everyone take out a sheet of paper, it's time for note taking! We'll start where we left off yesterday. Now, if it hadn't been for Abraham Lincoln..."
     i had out a sheet of paper, and i started to take notes, but by the end of class i had a masterpiece pen drawing. figures. i folded the paper and put it in my bag then the bell rang. i took out my schedule again.
     "Room 306, Bell 2, 9:15-10:15, Miss Snider, Art I" i read to myself. sounds like a class i'm going to like. art is my thing, i dont know what i would do without it. maybe that will help me not draw on my papers during the core classes, thats how it was before.
     "Ah, you're Aedrian arent you." she smiled. "Welcome to Art 1, i've got you a seat already assigned and there's a crate with your supplies!" she giggled and skipped away before i could even say thank you. she was a short, blond lady with a bob haircut and bright blue eyes. she looks young; maybe right out of college. and she's already in good terms with me because this amazing creature of a teacher is wearing a tool shirt under her blouse. i think i'm going to like this class.
     My seat was placed perfectly; one row from the back and direct view to the window. I was extremely happy about this class! wasnt hard to find either, after i figured out which way the numbers of the rooms went up and down, i figured out i basically passed it looking for my first bell class.
     "Okay! i've been letting you guys doodle pretty much for a month, so i guess its time to start a real project. Let's do CD cover parodies! it can be funny, or serious or anything you want. just be sure you say the albums real title and artist on the lable when you matte it and turn it in." she smiled." dont worry, i'll show you guys all that fancy stuff when you have to. you can use whatever materials you want for this, we have acrylics, tissue paper, watercolors, pastels and everything so feel free to use whatever! you're graded on the effort not the skill, just have fun and get the creative juices flowing!! ooh that sounded nasty...heehee...disregard that last statement. haha. lets get started!" 

     well, isnt she the lively one. hahaha. i like her already.

     i already knew what i was going to do for this project. i'll paint the album cover for Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights by HIM, but put myself in Ville's spot and pose with the same expression. i can see it now...i've got the image already painted out in my head. i shuffled over to the supplies and got some colored pencils, watercolor paints and tea. i stained the paper with the tea and then waited for it to dry and doodled on some scrap paper. i had it all sketched out by the time it was almost time to go, and i was so anxious to paint. it was a bit saddening for me. the anxiety for art work is worst than most other anxieties for me. the only thing that makes me more anxious is love, because i want it so bad...i know i'm supposed to be loved by somebody but i have still yet to find them. why am i thinking about this?
my next class was english, only 2 rooms over. they didnt list the teacher's name.
"Hey, you look new. Just call me Fred."
Nevermind, his name is Fred.
     i sat down in a seat near the back and waited for a while. no one really came in, just 2 boys and a girl. two of the people were quiet but the boy was loud. one more pair of people came in and then the bell rang. is there really only 5 other people in here?
     "so how's your mornings going so far? its gettin' cold here, huh?"
     "yeah, i wore a hoodie today!" exclaimed the boy sitting next to me, he was extremely loud when he talked. about as loud as my tia, thats unnaturally loud. uh...i dont think i approve.
     "okay, well i dont really have anything planned for today because i'm tired from the weekend, so today is open mic and open write so you can do what you want while i grade homework for the freshman."


      i dont really understand my last two teachers, my last teacher is goldy-locks in a tool shirt and my english teacher told me to call him by his first name...i'm confused, what kind of school is this? or maybe i just got the good teachers...i dont know, but at least i havent gotten any evil b-words like Mrs.Deaton in 5th grade...she was hitler in a gray wig, i swear. notice that i didnt deduct the mustache. flustered now, aren't ya.
     i just did what the teacher said and started to write. i saw a couple of people get out thier headphones, so i did too. i missed my music, i hate going without it; not so sure what to listen to though. i think my mp3 player lives on shuffle, i never choose songs anymore. and i kind of cant anyways, because some bastard broke my screen...
     i swear, this schools schedual is so wierd. apparently we have lunch for about 2 hours. what the heck? i thought lunch was supposed to be 30 minutes? oh well, i dont mind it. we can leave campus to eat or do whatever, so i guess i'll go to the cafe up the street. i grabbed my stuff and started walking.


     when i got there, the atmosphere was just the same as i remembered. it had been a while since i had visited, i wonder if the same people still work here, or if they still remember my name?
     i went to a bar stool table and set up my laptop. free wifi is the best.
     "can i get you anything?" the waitress asked me. she looked oddly familiar.
     "yeah, can i have a cafe mocha and a...i guess just add a bunch of whipped cream on it."
     "can do." she smiled and bounced away.

     i swear i've seen her before. somewhere...

     i turned on some music after i switched my headphones to my pc. i wasnt too fond of Tokio Hotel, but they had a couple songs that i really liked. i got onto my blog and started typing about school.

          today's been interesting so far, i've got a teacher who goes solely by "Fred" and an art teacher who likes tool, and now i'm on a 2 hour lunch break at a cafe. livin the life, right? ha, no...not really, i'd much rather be working from home again. and i have work all week except friday. yay for having to deal with lars ulrichs soul brother!! sike, im good without it. well thats all for now...

     "thanks" i said to the waitress as she set the coffee down next to me. she nodded and then went to the girl sitting cat-a-cornered a couple seats down. i was looking up music, trying to find a song i heard but forgot the title. 
     "hey, thats a good song." a young, calm voice said from somewhere behind me. i took out my earbuds.
     "which one?"
     she pointed. "that one. its good. you should listen to it."
     "alright." i played it, and it was the song i was looking for. "thanks, i was looking for that song, but i couldnt remember the title."
     "anytime." she grinned. and turned back around in chair, then scooted her stuff next to mine. we smiled to eachother. "my name's Isabella, but you can call me Bella. Whats yours?"
     "Aedrian, but my friends call me Drew." or at least they used to call me drew...
     "Thats a pretty name." 
     We started talking about random things all the way from music to coffee, to what brand of paper is most fun to draw on and whether we like pens or pencils. i had so much fun talking to her. She was in 8th grade and i was in 11th, but i felt like we were the same age. and so easy to talk to. i think i made a friend. we exchanged emails before i left back to school.

    my last class was math and i skipped it. what a great first impression. i hate math. i could do the adding and subtrackting, but then they decided to put letters with the numbers for some reason and told me i needed it to succeed in life. as far as i know, all i need to know is how to measure and how to pay bills and count money...and i learned all that in 3rd grade. and A+B does not equal C, it equals AB. what the hell, there is definately no C in that equation. maybe i'll just never understand, who knows.

     i was walking home and a car drove past me. they were talking about me and pointing like i couldnt hear them. "hey isnt that that new girl?"
     "the one with the big nose?"
     "yeah that little emo girl!"
     "dude she's so wierd, she just sits there quiet."
     "haha, i know...its like she's gonna cast some spell on us or something!" they all laughed.
  thats not funny at all. i frowned.
 today went better than i thought it would, 
but i was still right about the people.
 they still judge you before they can even pronounce your last name on thier own.
and trust me, it takes a while.

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