"i cant make it on my own, because my heart is in ohio"

     i dyed my hair back to black. today was the last day before i was leaving for new york and wanted to see scott. i finished straightening my hair and slipped on my shoes. the tapping of my feet echoed down the empty hallway and as i entered the starewell. the big blue door slammed behind me as i got to the second flight. i dont wanna go to school... i sighed. i stuck my two fingers into my pocket to check if i had my money and keys, i had them. i clipped my mp3 to my shirt and stuck my earbuds in. the right side was filled with a static fuzz. i looked down to make sure i didnt trip on the metal railing as i opened the front door to leave. and after only 3 steps out the door, there he is. at 7:03 am, on a day he doesnt have school, at my apartment building waiting for me to come out. i froze in my place. "scott?!" he smiled at me. "what are you doing here?" i blushed as i skipped up towards him.
     "i just figured i walk you to school..." he stepped up next to me, grabbed my hand and smiled. i grinned so wide.
     "you're so sweet" i swooned "you didnt have to get up so early just to walk with me, you're off school today."
     we started stepping foreward. "i wanted to. i wanted to see you, i missed you babe." he softly kissed me on the cheek. he took my bag from my shoulder and carried it for me. i was so flattered and felt special. "how'd you sleep?" he asked.
     "i slept...okay...i guess." i said wondering if i should tell him what happened at the shop. "how 'bout you?"
     "whats wrong, baby?" he looked at me with worry as he asked. he could tell it wasnt something little.
     "something dumb happened at work..." i said. "it kinda hit me hard."
     "did someone say something to you?"
     "yea...you know how i told you about the guy we call 'lars' and how he's a dick to everyone?"
     "yea, i remember. what did he do?" he looked really concerned.
     "he called me a witch...just because i have black hair and my makeup."
     "you're the nicest person i know, i dont get why people are mean to you."
     "honestly, i dont know eather. lou never did like me, but this time he went too far...it was really harsh...this girl came into the store and went crazy for no reason. he said that i scared her and all of my poems are spells and stuff like that...i dont do any of that." i frowned. "i believe in Gos, witches scare the hell out of me...i dont think i look like a witch..."
     "you dont. you're pretty and sweet, and i love your poems. i've never seen any one who could write like you."
     i smiled. "thank you..." i blushed. i didnt want to tell him i freaked out but i didnt want to make him worry about me...speaking of which, i need to replace my mirror. crap! my hands! i looked down at my right hand and saw a few shards of glass and some scabs on my knuckles and fingers. i warily grabbed the sleeve of my hoody with my middle finger and pulled it over my hand then kept walking.


     we still had 20 minutes before school started so we were sitting on the front steps. scott was sitting with his legs apart and hands folded together with his hair hanging down over his face. he turned to me and looked at me nervously. "so, what are you going to do about new york..."
     "i'm going...but i'm not staying."
     "but you love it there...you always say how much you love it there, why would you stay here?"
     "because..." i bit my lip nervously "i...you're here...i have a reason to stay now..."
     "me? but what about your family? i thought you loved them?"
     "i do..."
     "but i don't want to keep you from being happy—"
     "you make me happy." he looked at me blankly. "thats why i'm staying." he smiled and i gave him a kiss. he held his arms open for me to scoot closer and he held me. i just wanted to fall asleep on him. i used to hate cuddling, but with him i like it...he's so comfortable. to hug, to lay on, just everything.

the bell rang.

i frowned and so did he. i looked up at him and he gave me a long kiss. "i'll come back and walk you home, okay?" i smiled and nodded. he gave me a kiss on my forehead, then my nose, then my lips. "bye baby, i love you."
      "i love you too, see you!" i waved goodbye to him and he waved back, then i rushed into the building and up the stairs to my advisory. i grinned as i turned to go into the door. he's so sweet...♥
    "good morning, aedrisn." said russel as he did every morning. "you look undeniably content today." he smiled and tilted his chin up. "hmm, hmmm?"
     "that's because i am." i giggled. "scott walked me to school today, he woke up early just to walk with me even though he's off school."
     "awww, that's so cute. he must love you." he said as he gathered his papers together and straightened them. he tilted his head my way and blinked twice.
     i laughed. "i love him. he's such a sweetheart!" i tugged at the strap on my bag to set it upright from its side next to my desk.
     "i want to meet him! he sounds perfect for you. i'm so happy for you guys."
     "aw thank you" i smiled. "hopefully, you will meet him one day. speaking of being happy for people, how are you and tiffany doing?"
     "road's a little rocky to say the least." he popped in a piece of gum and held a piece towards me. "she complains about every little thing i do and gets jealous so easily."
     "like what?" i took the gum and unwrapped it.
     "okay, well here's an example. i went to tennis practice and the coach paired me with terra. after our match, we shook hands and i told her she did good and she said the same to me. tiffany got mad at me..."
     "what the hell? that's ridiculous...all you said was good game and shook her hand. you're supposed to do that, right?"
     "yes! and she always does that. and she always thinks i'm flirting with everyone. that day you borrowed a dollar from me, she thought i was flirting with you. kathy asked me to help her with a math problem, so i helped her with it. she thought that was flirting too. i went to do my community service, which is tutoring middle school kids, and she thought i was flirting with the middle schoolers!"
     "jeez russ...i think she's got some serious jealousy issues..."
     "she does! and i dont understand it! i havent done anything to break her trust or even bend it, and she's going nuts. it's driving me insane. i cant do anything. anything. without making her mad."
     "well, what are you going to do?" we got up as the bell rung and started walking.
     "i dont know..." he sighed as he cuffed his literature book in his arms. "i'm doing everything right...i go see her after school. i say hi to her before advisory, i carry her books to the two classes we have together...i buy her lunch everyday, i tell her she's beautiful because she is, i take her places, call her every night, i always text her back and i take the time to keep my locker clean and let her use it. i dont understand what i'm doing wrong."
     "you're not doing anything wrong...i dont understand why she's acting wierd...any girl would love to be treated that way. scott is like that towards me, he does everything right. it's a great feeling to feel that someone cares about you. i dont get what the problem is."
     "me either. i like her and i really respect her alot, i wish i could figure out what was wrong and fix it."
     "me too. i hope things get better, buddy."
     "thanks...i hope so too." he sighed and turned the corner and waved. "see ya."
poor guy...i wish i could help. i hate when you try to be perfect for someone, and then they dont give the same back. then they treat you like crap...russ doesnt deserve to be yelled at all the time, he never yells at tiffany. he never even scolds her. hopefully she starts being nicer to him...he doesnt deserve all that trouble.
    mrs. detrick passed me a paper as i walked in. we were taking nots on voltair today. ah, voltair. the one who said one of my most valued quotes, "Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination." and i believe it more and more every day. definately one of my favorite people in history. i sat down in my seat and stared up at the overhead. i got bored really easy. i did the worksheet then i was bored with the notes. i took out tokyo mew mew volume two and read it in my lap to pass the time. which went by fast, i might add.
     i finally finished my piece in art class. i did the finishing touches then went to present. i picked up my painting and blew off the dust. i did a decent amount of work on it. i changed the text from "HIM" to "HER" and had to make myself in that pose.
 "okay everybody, here's aedrian's project titled 'deep shadows and brilliant highlights by her'!"
     i nodded in thanks to the intoduction and stood in the center of the room. "this is my project...i took the cover from one of my favorite CD's by my favorite band, HIM, and re-did the cover with myself on it instead of Ville. i made myself in the same pose and everything, then replaced the name 'HIM' with 'HER' since i'm a girl. but when they came to the US they actually went by that name for they're band as another had thier name here already." the teacher and a couple other's clapped for me then i went and sat back down. i really expected to have better feedback than that...i'm a really good artist, but only a couple of people clapped. it kind of shot my confidence.


     after my english test, i slipped my books in my bag and took out my phone when the bell rung to check. bella text me.

           srry i wont be @ the cafe today. on ma way 2 florida 4 the break! mail me :) <3

i was a bit sad to not be able to share my lunch with her today. i wanted to tell about what scott did this morning. but i guess i'll just send it in an email. i bounced out the door, nearly tripping down the stairs in front of the school. i caught myself and gasped. that was close. then i heard a familiar giggle. i screamed a little as i felt the wheel brush against the back of my knee and turned around to see scott smiling up at me from his bike. "hey cutie" he smiled at me. i giggled and kissed him. "get on" he said and nodded towards the handle bars. i excitedly propped myself up from the pegs and sat down, swinging my bag onto my lap. another surprise?
      he started pedaling. "where are we going?" i giggled as i gripped onto the bar with my fingers.
      "its a surprise," he giggled. "what time do you have to be back here?"
     "okay, we've got time." i felt him rise off the seat and start pedaling faster. his chest was against my back and i could feel the heat coming off of him onto me. it made feel all tingly. i wonder where we're going...


    we stopped the bike in the back of a building about 10 minutes later. "where are we?"
    "you'll see." he said and he covered my eyes.
    "you say 'you'll see' then you cover my eyes? oh, okay scott." i laughed as he led me.
    "haha, shut up!" he laughed at me "you'll see in a minute!" i heard a door open and we entered a building. it was warm and the aroma was enjoyable, almost spicy. then i also smelled a mix of sugars...and a fish tank. where we at a chinese buffet? i hope so! he uncovered my eyes and what i saw was even better than just a chinese buffet. "like it?"
     "i love it!!" he had taken me to my favorite asian buffet. it had all kinds of food, both japanese and chinese, sushi, desserts and crab legs! i was so excited! he took my hand and we followed the hostess to the table and orderred root beers for the two of us. we shared a quick kiss then rushed out to get plates. i was straight at the chicken. i love general tso's, sweet & sour, orange...all of it! i saw some teriyaki and dived towards it and we fought over the spoon to get some. i looked up and the hostess smiled at me and made a heart with her hands. i nodded my head up and down and grinned widely. i let scott win the spoon and went to get sushi. omelette, california roll, spicy tuna, spicy salmon...it was all so good! and i had some tako with miso soup. i had a big garlic bread and some dumplings with soy sauce and lo mein noodles. he had about the same except in a bigger quantity and minus the sushi. "this is amazing, scott" i said with a smile and a mouth full of chicken. "thank you!!"
     "your welcome, princess" he smiled and had a swig of root beer. i took out some money to pay for my half of the bill when the check came, but he put his hand over mine and shook his head. i tilted my head to the side in confusion. he took out his wallet and  handed the money to the cashier and got his change back and two fortune cookies. "will you hold these for me?" i nodded yes and put them in the pocket of my bag. he grabbed my hand and we got back on the bike and he rode me back to school.


     we got back to school at 1:11 and sat on the brick ledge next to the front stairs. people were trickling in from thier cars. we got some looks from people, but we didnt care. "i love you" he said looking straight into my eyes. i pressed my nose against his and replied "i love you too" and tilted up my chin to kiss him. i took the cookies out of my bag and gave him his. i broke mine and stuck half in my mouth then pulled out the piece of paper. i watched as he did the same. "what does yours say?"
     "mine says 'the one you love is closer than you think.' what about yours?"
     i opened the little paper. "'stop searching forever. happiness is just next to you.'" i folded my lips together trying to hide my big smile. his face lit up as i said it. it was like they were telling us something...it was special to me. i stuck it in my pocket and looked up at him wide-eyed. i love you so much. he smiled down at me and got closer, tilted up my chin and kissed me softly.  when the bell rung shortly after, my eyes got watery. i didnt want to go in for math class. he looked at me sadly, knowing i had to leave. i kissed him and hugged him tightly. "i love you."
     "i love you too" he kissed my forehead as he held my hand to help me down from the wall. "i'll see you after school."
     "okay," i smiled "see ya!" i waved to him as he jogged to his bike then shuffled through the doorway, wedging through the crowds of people until i finally got into the classroom. which turned out to be empty, so i was confused. then an announcement came onto the loudspeaker:
          we'll be having an assembly for last bell.
          everybody should report to the gym for the assembly.
          we will dismiss from the assembly.
i rolled my eyes and dragged myself out of the room to go to the gym building. when i got inside, i didnt know where to go. i scanned the bleachers to find my class and sat down near the back. i didnt really know anyone besides a couple of people so i sat by myself. i didnt really want to be bothered anyhow.
     there was lots of yelling and people parading around. i didnt really pay attention, i just decided to get online off of my laptop and check my emails. i didnt really have anything new, so i sent a message to bella.
i dont know why i always take the time to make all of those emoticons and color and bold them, but i think its cute so i will keep doing it. because i like it...i guess. haha. everyone in the school rally began to quiet down so i shut off my computer and put it in my bag. i snuck out of the back door of the gymnasium and skipped excitedly to the main building. just knowing that scott is going to be here makes my heart jump with joy! it makes me so excited. i smiled to myself as i began to jog up to the wall to wait. he's so amazing...♥

     scott walked up into the parking lot only minutes later; looking adorable as usual...as if he has a choice not to. he was wearing black skinny jeans, a black beater and a black beanie. when he smiled at me i realized that  if his lips were thinner, eyes were greener, teeth were smaller and if he wasnt muscular and tan, he would look just like Ville Valo! i almost fainted. Ville was my love before any other boy, i love everything about that man and his talent and music. he's my favorite writer and musician, and this boy reminds me so much of him, its crazy! i squealed with joy as he grabbed my hand and we started walking. "wanna go back to my house?" he said as he looked at me. i nodded and said "sure." my school was alot closer to his house than mine. funny how he came to my house to get me then to my school then back home...he went in a big ol' circle.
     it was warm outside when we got there. it was odd that i smelled food as we entered only the driveway. whats going on? i wondered... we went into the house through the door in the garage like we usually do and went to the back yard. the grill was on with a low fire. he lifted the top with a mit on and put the two hot mets in a bun and passed me a plate. i blushed. how did he know i loved these? i dont remember telling him that i loved hot mets, he knew i liked chili dogs, but not mets. i was so excited! we ate outside on his porch then went back to his room after saying hi to his family.  i'd never been in there before.
     when we got in, i didn't know how to feel. at first glace i loved it, there was graffiti all over the walls and he had a game system and TV and everything, but there were other things on the wall too...above his closet, it said "Abigail" in big letters, and on the wall, there was a cute drawing of a couple that said "Abi & Scotti," then she had written him a message and signed it really pretty on the back of his door. i felt a little bit awkward, like i wasn't his girlfriend. who is Abi? i wouldn't dare ask, because in a way, i really didn't want to know. there was a transparent drawer and i faintly saw a picture, it was him and a girl. i knew him by his hair. is that her? i started to squint closer until he called my name and i about jumped out of my skin. i scratched my head and looked back over at him. "You okay?" he asked, i said i was fine and tried to shrug it off. we were talking and hugging and kissing as we usually do when we hang out, but at the same time all i could think of was Abi. Who is Abi? Where did she come from? What was she to you? Why did she draw on your walls? Why is her name everywhere? i couldn't think as straight as i did before...who is Abi?

     the next morning i woke up, excited but not. i had all of my bags packed and then i had to ask myself that question. Aedrian...are you moving? i wanted to, but i didn't want to. i have a new life here...but i could start completely over up there, away from everyone who hates me. i would be so much more acceted over there, everyone would love me in New York, because they're all just like me. but at the same time, i dont know anyone there and i'm shy...i could just be inviting a new group of people to hate me and not realize till i get there. and new york has some elite people...they might think low of me. i dont know what to do. actually, i'm staying here. i think...i told Bella and scott that i would stay here and not live in New York, but its such a hard decision...maybe when i get there i will make up my mind for good. i made sure my phone was fully charged and put my makeup in my bag with my stuff, double checked and grabbed my laptop then went to  bus stop. today, i go to my mom's house.

     i hate her. there are many reasons why we don't live together, in face she is the reason i live alone. she doesn't live far away, only a bus ride, i could walk if i wasnt tired. she lives with my little sister, Tiva, she's twelve. we do not get along at all, niether do mami and i. we used to, until she lied to me. she does so many backhanded things...one time, she gave me my own clothes for christmas along with twenty dollars, then took back the twenty because she said that i owed her money. i wasn't so thrilled, if you could imagine... she liked to hit, and yell, and make me feel like crap. i knew how to do everything on my own: cook, clean, fold clothes, shop and everything, but she always bothered me about my room being a mess even though she was the one throwing stuff in there constantly, plus her room looked worse. i said i would clean up if i lived somewhere that i liked. we got into a big fight about a year ago where she had me in a choke and dug her nails into my neck and i got her to let go finally. i told her i would move out because i hated the way she treated me and i hated living there with the both of them. she laughed at me and said "Fine. If you get a job, then go ahead and leave." i played a few gigs and Mr. Heron gave me a job at the shop...my grandma had an open apartment...there it all played out fine. we dont even live on the same floor, so i dont get bothered. i'm alot happier this way, even when i go to a public school its still better than living with them. my dad is meeting there so i have to go.
     when i got to the house i greeted my dad with a big smile and a hag, with a kiss on the cheek. my mom and sister glared over at me when they saw me, but put their choir faces back on as soon as he turned back around. my sister came and stood by me, giving me a bag of pretzels. "i saved these for you..." i nodded to say thanks. she had her sweet moments. i was so excited to get to New York.

not going to explain that boring 9 hour drive. really nothing to know besides i watched DVD's and played computer games the entire time...accompanied by about 13 minutes of sleep and drooling a puddle onto my shoulder.

     we finally got to the apartment building and took out our bags. usually, we take the stairs when we're there but since we have suitcases we use the elevator. at the moment, it smelled like pee. the inside was a burnt orange with off-white tiles on the floor, flourishing with faded gold flowery patterns. the buttons had turned gray over the years and the orange light was dim through the scratched plastic, due to acrylic nails and possibly canes. it ringed at each floor. we stopped at the third ring and rolled down the the fifth door to the left side of the building, on the right side of the hall. i knocked 3 times and then we waited. my heart started beating faster as i began to smell rice and gandules, tostones and the savory aroma of pork chops. the only pork chops i will ever eat have to be made by a Puerto Rican, or i will not eat it. they're the only one's who make it right. the door opened and her eyes grew wide as she embraced me tightly, she laughed in delight and said "oh, i miss you!" then rubbed my back with her hand. "dios te bendiga!" she laughed and showed us the way in, greeting my dad and sister as well. i breathed in and out. i smelled food...good food. not like when i was with my mom, and not often at home. puerto rican food. it's my favorite.
     after dinner we watched some tv and i took out my laptop to talk to scott. i got IM and he was on already. before i could finish typing the messing i got a "hey baby" with a big smiley face. so i replied.
          whats up?
          nm, just got to my cousins house
          cool :)
          ya hah hows new york?
          good so far ^_^ i always love it here
          nice lol me to i love the graffiti there
          me too, i just dont kno much about it
          rly? i can teach you i love graffiti
         yay!! cool :) u should :D
          hah ok babe ill email u sum of the top writers up there so u no who to look for
          ok cool :) that sounds awesome
          haha ya.. i gotta get off =( i'll txt u
          okay :( bye

i closed my laptop and went into the bathroom to take a shower. i grabbed a towel from the closet.
     the bathroom was ivory with a pale green curtain covereing the shower. a rack at the top and soap holders hanging at the back with 5 flowery shower caps. strawberry rose colored laces garnished the decorations on the wall, shelves and sink skirt. despite the color, it was really pretty to me. i've loved it since i was a kid. even though i hadn't been here in 8 years, the smell is the same, the taste of the air, the brand of toothpaste and the colors...everything is the same, and everything is still perfect. i love it here.
     i sat down on the seat of the toilet, wrapped in a green floral towel; one of the three that i always use when i come here and picked up my phone with both hands and clicked "OK." the screen lit up to a picture of Scott on the balcony of his cousin's house with a rootbeer. that was my background. he was so cute. i sighed and set the phone on the shelf, slid a bubble of toothpaste on my brush and jammed it in my mouth. i start brushing and then i spit the foam into the sink and when i came up, i realized i could see my whole face in the mirror. wow...i must have really grown a lot. i looked at my self with wide eyes. i touched my hair, i touched my necklace, the cracks in my lips and the pimples on my face...and all of the scars. the scars are the only things that are really the same. my hair is straight now, it used to frizzy and curly. my lips and skin were always perfect without a blemish unless i got nervous and bit my lips. Until a little before the last time i was here, and i got a bad skin disease that messed me up. it gave me an almost unbareable fever and hair folicle sized bumps that itched like mad, and i always scratched them off. it left goose-bump looking scars all over my arms. i still remember the day i noticed i had them. looking in this very mirror here in Brooklyn, New York on the second floor of this very apartment on Dekalb avenue. only three fourths of a month after getting rid of it, thinking i was fine, i looked in this mirror and lost my very last bit of self confidence. i clentched onto the sink and watched two tears smack against the bottom of the bowl and crawl into the sink. i sighed in a gasp and wiped them out of my face and washed it with a pad and toner then left to the bed room. my dad was already asleep on an air mattress and my sister was on one side of the bed.


the day had been filled with shopping. we explored manhattan and went everywhere! you name it, i at least touched it...but don't be a pervert...i know how you people are. haha! well anyway, we made a stop here in Chinatown, ironically at a Japanese sushi bar. of course no one really knows the difference between chinese and japanese or any other written asian language here, but i do because i like to study stuff like that. it was funny how the mother in the family infront of us asked her kids if they wanted chinese and walked into a Korean restaurant. all of the Asian people laugh at them, but the i guess you would call "typical american" people or tourists just think they're being friendly. they're laughing at you. you'd think with all of the cultures here, we would know the difference but i guess not everyone is so culturally open minded.
     i was wearing a new shirt i got that day, it said "MADE IN THE U.S.A...WITH PUERTO RICAN PARTS." yes, prideful and ethinocentric, call it whatever you please. i like it! i took a picture in the bathroom after i washed my hands and sent it to Scott, thinking he would get a laugh out of it a little.
     i got a spicy tuna roll and some white miso with a warm green tea. it was heavenly, i must admit. and i'm not so fond of tea. i still hadn't gotten a reply from scott about the picture i sent, but i figured he was working or hanging with his family or friends. after we finished eating, we had the 45 or so minute walk back to the parking garage then the who knows how long drive back to the apartment.
"yes it's done!" after 3 hours, i finally finished downloading all the episodes of .hack//SIGN. it's my favorite anime series...besides Tenchi Muyo, of course. but the two are so different. i looked at my phone during the opening song and realized my picture never sent, so i clicked resend. i started out watching .hack//LUMINALITY, the first part so i could re-cap before i went on with the rest of the series. i finally got a text from Scott and i blushed and squealed when i saw his name pop up in my phone with the smiley and heart next to it. Oh, how girly of me...oh well. i clicked "open" with the biggest smile on my face and the text said "im back with Abi.." then my face just lost all emotion and my head cocked to the side, i was thinking to myself. ...what?  i sat there for a moment thinking whether i should text back or just stop talking to him. obviously, this abi person is important to him...pictures of her in his drawers and her name allover his walls, maybe i should just let it be... or maybe for the first time in my life, i should just be selfish and take him for myself because thats what i want... okay, Drew. you're going to be selfish. i picked up my phone and texted back "why" with a sad face. is that the best you can do, drew?! the answer is: yes. i'm new to this whole "claim your man" thing, cut me some slack, conscience, gosh! he said back "i didnt mean to.. she called me and said were together and hung up..." i didnt really know what to say, so i just sat there staring at the phone. now, what? what do i say? i was about to try to reply, typing difference sentences, then of clearing them if they sounded to snippy or bossy-like. he's never mean to me and i dont want him to be, so i'm not gonna be mean to him. and besides, we've only been dating for like less than a week, (even though it feels like longer,) who knows how long him and Abi were together. what if i'm in the way? if they were together for a long time and we havent been then i would feel horrible... what do i do?! i slouched down and then plopped backwards onto the bed. i grunted and moaned to myself in confusion. i got a text back and it said "i took care of it babe" and then i sighed of relief.  i sent back a smiley face and a yay and asked what was up, then started back watching my anime.

       mmm....what's that smell? i thought to myself. salchichon soup and rice with gandules.

i hopped up from the bed and scurried to the kitchen to eat. i sat at the table and Abuela set down my plate. there was chandelier above the table and a vase of irises. i'm suprised they have stayed alive, but then again, its only cold on the outside, its warm in here.
     Abuela and Papi were having a conversation in spanish, i don't speak it so i could follow so well. by the few words i could here, they were talking about how they were doing and something about my hair, so i touched it and i figured out that my cow-lick was sticking up...i blushed and patted it down and they giggled at me, then went back about thier conversation. i picked up my plate and put it in the sink and exchanged it for a teacup to fill with ice cream, then went back to the bed room to watch more .hack and lay down. i liked that room alot, all of the furniture in it was from my old house. from back when my parents were together. i recognized everything from thier bedroom, i always liked the mirror on the headboard. Papi and i used to make faces in it when i was a little kid. i miss those days...

i lied down and started thinking again, about scott and bella. i missed them both. my phone vibrated so i answered, it was scott, but he hung up. he called by accident. then i got sad, i wanted to hear his voice. but even more, i wanted to hug and kiss him again...and look in his eyes. and i want to read manga and drink coffee with bella at the the cafe. i can't make it on my own, because my heart is in ohio. it's like there's a song for my whole life... who would have ever thought i would ever miss that place.

i want to go home.

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